The Eighth Sermon to the Dead

In the wake of the shootings at a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado, I made plans to get my concealed carry license (CCL) and start carrying a gun.  It's surprisingly easy in Oregon to receive one, and I have all the documentation.  I'd have to go get a handgun, but that's easy to do. This is not necessarily out of character for me.  I was raised in the country in Wisconsin.  I've been hunting much of my life, can sight in a rifle, have shot a handgun for sport, etc.  Part of me wants to get back into it, as I've let it slip over years of urban living.  A little target practice, a little feeling of security, know that If It All Goes To Hell® I've got the means of protection/hunting, etc. Then the Sikh shooting in Oak Creek happened, and it appears one of the Sikhs, a 65 year old fellow named Satwant Singh Kaleka (who's religious ethos does require the carrying of the Kirpan as a signal of honor, dignity, and being a saint soldier.  A defensiv...

I've continued my speaking with a bit of rambling about the Mythology of Lovecraft. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKyFDtv5daM Other projects are in progress, keep your eyes peeled for updates!

Lately, the real world has kept me very busy, and I have not been documenting it. So, let's document some stuff.  1) Portland and environs:  I love Portland. It's quirky and weird and filled with lovely people. However, I don't like living there. The spaces are too small, and the fact that I've had 4-5 things stolen that I had great affection for, made me want to move. I'm basically a small town boy who likes being near a larger city.  I'm now setting up in the little nearby town of Newberg with my new girlfriend, Paddy. She has three kids which I'm helping out with, and it's a lot of fun.  This fall, I hope to open a branch of the Hermetic Society in Newberg, at the Masonic Lodge there. 2) I've been doing a bit of speaking, both online and in person. I try to give one talk a semester to the Hermetics Society, I've spoken for Esoterika lodge for their lecture series, and of course I speak at the Johannite Conclaves and TalkGnosis has be...

On Friday night, a bag was stolen from my girlfriend's new truck, along with her wallet. The bag had some fairly high priced items in it: A flip camera, an Android tablet, and my Cpap which I need to breathe at night. So that sucks.  Yesterday, I was sick, but looked up all sorts of return the property and punish the thieves kind of rituals. Then I went to bed when I couldn't get them to print, as I only had about 10% brain power. Today, they found my girlfriend's wallet, in the parking lot of a store about 10 blocks from where we were. So, I had so me time. I went to the store, got her wallet, and bought a beeswax candle. I went back out to my car, and made an offering of my energy and the candle to the spirits, in exchange for something that would help me with the loss of the bag: information, spotting it, etc. I then took the dog, and proceeded to walk up and down Burnside, asking folks if they'd seen my bag. I asked folks who spend time outside: Val...

"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you." Today is Holy Thursday, the day in the Christian Tradition when Jesus had his Last Supper with his apostles. It's interesting that he chooses this day to give a commandment. Jesus, who has never really claimed any authority (only hinted), who only tells others what to do when they ask him to, suddenly starts giving commands. During a meal with Bread and wine. On a Thursday. For over a year, I've been studying the esoteric correspondences of Jupiter, marked as king of the Roman Gods, and the biggest planet in the solar system. Jupiter in Hebrew is צדק, Tzedek. It translates as Justice or Righteousness. It's also part of the name Melchizedek. Melchizedek can be translated as (my) King of Justice or Righteousness. He's the priest who met Abram, and blessed him with bread and wine. So today, Thursday, the day of Kingship, seems appropriate to celebrate not only the ...

This weeks prompt is : I want you to do something nice for yourself. I do this constantly .   I'm a Scorpio, and that requires a bit of self-care.  My problem is far more letting the indulgences be occasional.  Just last week I bought myself a remote control helicopter. I'm good. Instead, I want to indulge my own whims, and write for a minute about the tragedies of people's lives. When I look back on my life, I can see I made a few stupid mistakes.  I made some well meaning ones.  I made some good mistakes, happy accidents.  The mistakes tend to remain, the good decisions, the successes, they fade (apparently it takes three good occurrences to cancel out one bad).  I've gotten through life partly by diligence, partly by skill, partly by opportunity and partly by luck. All in all, although I'm slightly disappointed with where I am in life (for I am ambitious) I think "Well, I could do more, and I've made some mistakes, but I'm...

Two noteworthy milestones: 1) The Hesychasm Prostrations have made it into my daily practice.  I've been slowly increasing the number (from 10 to 60).  Unfortunately, just before Christmas I hurt my knee, and every time I get up from laying on the floor it causes great pain.  So, rather than put it off, I've been doing another physical act of devotion: I touch the floor after every repetition of the Jesus Prayer.  After 4 days, I'm starting to notice physical differences (mostly a bit of soreness after, a bit of sweat during).  Also, my  mental state is staying quite even. 2) Divinations:  I voluntarily did a divination this morning.  It's geomancy, so it's complex and only about half calculated, but I had a question and I now have the information for the answer.   An interesting occurence for me. Something I didn't plan on or mention is a resumption of journaling.  And a renewed dedication to getting the work done in my Order.

In response to this prompt. . Inspiration: Cuts you Up ( You know the way it throws about/It takes you in and spits you out/It spits you out when you desire/to conquer it, to feel you're higher/To follow it you must be clean/with mistakes that you do mean/Move the heart, switch the pace/Look for what seems out of place ) You know, any task needs to be cut up, after all... 1. How are you going to accomplish these large goals in your daily life? Project 1: Grow the Church Find a place to hold services (I've contacted the UU Church in town) Hire help with the newsletter (I've contacted a freelancer) Identify places to advertise Make Plans for the Seattle Mission (which has been approved and is in the preliminary stages) Project 2: Stabilize my situation Looking for a new apt (showing tomorrow at noon) Save up security deposit ($200-$500 already saved) Let Landlord know so I have a goad to get out. Buy a futon (Currently I sleep on the floor, by choice.) Project...

This is in response to the prompt of last week.  I'm about a week behind on this. Inispirations: Music: Furr , by Blitzen Trapper Deities: I'm gonna go with Our Lady of the Woods on this one. Moon Phase & Day: Waning, Wed. 12/21 Cleaning: I've been keeping up with my banishing, keeping things cleansed.  Sunday I did the bathrooms and took out the garbage.  Haven't really gotten through with vaccuming my room or changing my bedding though.  I think Wed. will be a good day like that. Time: I've already cut my tv watching/video game playing down quite a bit.  Going more for reading and talking with people.  I had a little bit, but I was also making a present, so I feel OK about it.  My biggest time waste is my commute, but even then I'm trying to listen to books on tape. Rocks: I'm not sure what I carry around, except the death of my Father, which happened 13 years ago or so last week.  Every year it casts a bit of a pall over my...

Who is this I that desires transformation into something new? Is it this collection of atoms?  This bundle of cells that powers what I laughingly call "I"?  If so, how much of these atoms constitute "me"?  Is it the ones that share my DNA?  Is it the microbes that live upon me, up to 90 trillion different individual living things?  Does it include the air I breathe, once I breathe it?  Does it include the air I exhale, filled with cells, microbes, carbon from my body and oxygen that's been burned?  Is the skin my boundary, or do I include the food I eat, the fluids I secrete, the people I join with in physical contact of one sort or another? Perhaps I'm being to physical.  Perhaps me is the thoughts generated from the cells?  The grey matter in my skull, reacting and firing over and over.  But what thoughts are mine?  What are put there by other outside influences?  What thoughts originate in my gut, or my foot, or my groin...

So,  Charmed, I'm Sure  has an experiment she wants us magical types to do.  I'm always up for an experiment.   And who doesn't like transformation?   Let's see what happens.  Deb says: Get up, get up! Don't miss this moment. Create magics great and small, mundane and mystical. Find everything you've been looking for, mysteries revealed in every form of divination and song and when you fuck it up, when you are too tired to try, bring each other up from bloodied knees to get back up smiling. You are all made of stars and you have stardust in your veins. Do something about it. RO talks about what he'd like to do .  Jason Miller does too .  These folks are both inspirations to me, so I'm going to give it a shot. However, as a priest, my ideas of wealth and kingdom are slightly different than theirs.  I'm less concerned with my own life, except as how it impacts my ability to grow the Kingdom of God, and specifically my little tribal slice...

Mea Culpa. I ask your forgiveness, dear readers.  I have been guilty of spreading a misunderstanding. I'm very fond of saying that the word 'repent' comes from the Latin prefix re- meaning again, and peneso, meaning to think, and that it means that we are called to think again.  I've expounded on this theme at some length in various places. I'm quite wrong. 'Repent' comes from the latin Re- meaning again, and poenitere , meaning "be penitent" or "be sorry".  It is directly related to 'penal', meaning punishment.  So, not a call to examine your life, beyond the call that you've really messed up, and you need to get yourself right with God.  You've broken the rules, and you need to accept your punishment with a glad heart for the correction.  Mea Culpa, my fault. And yet, I'm not wrong. When I saw this, I was of course mightily embarrassed. And I was highly curious, because I'm a Johannite, and as such...

One of the difficulties I have when talking about gnosis is trying to translate the experiences I have into some form of Communication.  English is wonderful at getting across certain concepts, but sometimes you just need to use another language. Dépaysement French – The feeling that comes from not being in one’s home country. This word, to me, explains my base state of existence.  As a gnostic, I am not in my home country.  I am lost, confused, I don't understand the customs, the familiar things I use as touchstones are all strange here.  I'm never quite comfortable.  Enjoyable as things may be, they're never quite right.  I have this feeling of dépaysement, of not being in my home country. Saudade Portuguese – One of the most beautiful of all words, translatable or not, this word “refers to the feeling of longing for something or someone that you love and which is lost.” The liturgy of the Ecclesia Gnostica Mysteriorum contains the line "Whe...

In our last post, we spoke of the Pleroma, and how it contains everything and nothing.  Now, let us speak of creatura, the whole of creation, distinct from the Pleroma, and what exactly it means to be distinct. What is changeable, however, is creatura. Therefore is it the one thing which is fixed and certain; because it hath qualities: it is even quality itself. The question ariseth: How did creatura originate? Created beings came to pass, not creatura; since created being is the very quality of the pleroma, as much as non-creation which is the eternal death. In all times and places is creation, in all times and places is death. The pleroma hath all, distinctiveness and non-distinctiveness. Distinctiveness is creatura. It is distinct. Distinctiveness is its essence, and therefore it distinguisheth. Therefore man discriminateth because his nature is distinctiveness. Wherefore also he distinguisheth qualities of the pleroma which are not. He distinguisheth them out of his own n...

I've been wanting to write something, but have been lacking for inspiration.  I want to publish something every Thursday. Thus, I go back to what got me started in the first place.  These will be my meditations on the Seven sermons to the Dead .  To me, these writings are the most accessible gnostic writings out there.  Of course, they're also the most complete, and are translated from a fairly modern language.  First Sermon, Paragraphs 1-7: The dead came back from Jerusalem, where they found not what they sought. They prayed me let them in and besought my word, and thus I began my teaching. Harken: I begin with nothingness. Nothingness is the same as fullness. In infinity full is no better than empty. Nothingness is both empty and full. As well might ye say anything else of nothingness, as for instance, white is it, or black, or again, it is not, or it is. A thing that is infinite and eternal hath no qualities, since it hath all qualities. This noth...

Too Long, O Lord, has my heart been frozen Too Long Have I seen solid ground as a virtue. Do not kindle a flame in my heart Rather, blow away the frost In a cataclysm of burning water Bring my heart to life from an age of ice Even if that life be made of furs and a flint spear, seeking elusive mammoths Too long, O Lord, have I stagnated A miasma of forgotten dreams and wasted effort Bring springtime to the swampland of my life Let every living thing come forth, two by two slimy skin, brilliant plumage, glowing petals. Let the bayou disgorge it's contents not ashamed of the floatsam and jetsam of life lived lovingly Too long, O Lord, have I stood on the shore watching the waves erode where I stand My footprints and sand castles, designed with such loving care, erode under your constant motion Give me courage and a board that I may ride The waves of a lifetime, frozen only in my heart And when the hurricane comes, let me meet you in the maelstrom that comes f...

In the name of Light returning, I also summon URIEL, Dark Lord of Earth, who bringest all at last unto the Nether Shore, Companion of all who offer up their lives in the defense of others, guard this Chamber and witness the acts here taken. Come, mighty URIEL, and grace me with thy presence. The past couple weeks, I've been meditating on St. Uriel.  He gets sort of a bad reputation.  In the above invocation, he's known as the Dark Lord of Earth, and sort of acts as the Ferryman. However, in my meditations, I've come to a slightly different understanding.  He's the Lord of Earth.  All growing, living things come from the earth.  They all pass away, true.  But they all start here, as well.  His color is green for a reason:  He's the Lord of Growing things, as well.   So by being the Companion of the dying, he's also the shepherd of the living. For the two are intimately intertwined, of course.  They are the flip sides of each othe...

I've gone through some changes since my last post. I've lost my job.  I'm having trouble finding a new one.  In this economy that's to be expected.  So, I'm also looking at alternatives:  Project work, industry switches, etc. Today, I had to go out and visit my old place of work.  I never liked it much.  And I went to visit the restaurant where I went to lunch, which I'll miss a lot more. It's odd.  Never liked the job, never liked the people I worked with.  But it was part of my life for 2 years, and I think I got used to it.  So, I'm sad to be leaving.  I don't think I should be sad, and I can only tell I'm sad by the strange, bad habits that are starting to come up.  It's nice to be aware enough to at least realize I'm slipping into bad habits, even if I'm having trouble stopping them. I'm not terribly sad, though.  I'm looking forward to the new adventures that are coming.  However, it's hard not to stand and ...

Dirty Sexy Ministry writes: Life is running wounded, because unless we stay alone in a stall, we'll tangle with the barbs of circumstance, love, and humans. Godly life is remembering, even wounded, we can run and live and love. A lot of this post resonated with me, including: I long-ago quit worrying (most of the time) about who God moves in and out of my life. I have also quit worrying (most of the time) about who God moves in and out of my life.  I've known a lot of people, some casually, some deeply.  Some I still talk to.  Others have gone their own way.  But I keep leaving the stall, running, living, loving. Peace be with you.  There is peace in wild things, in movement, as well as in rest.

I'm reading a book called The Time Paradox , by Philip Zimbardo and John Boyd. One of the many questions they ask in this book is "What is your first memory?" My first memory is of the house on the west side. It's hazy. I was probably four years old. The house itself is green-ish, with a front porch, on a city block. There's a dog, a white dog with black ears that I'd creatively named 'Snoopy'. A year later, that house would be gone, and my dog would be dead. I think I learned fairly early on that the things and people we love in this life are impermanent. That's why I've always had an interest in Religion and Magic, which claim in their own ways to touch something which is imperishable. It's also why I place more value on a good dinner with friends than a nice house in the rich area of town. All things are transitory, and I like to acknowledge that up front rather than hide behind the illusion of permanence. That house will pass j...