Showing posts from April, 2015

Day 14: Back on the Wagon & Who do you say that I am?

Today I was up early and meditating. I did what I call the 100 breath meditation. Basically, I count my breaths, slow, even, up to 100. Not too difficult. I didn't even lose count. My mind wandered several times to the various stressors, but I did manage to keep good position and keep count even through the wanderings. --------------------------------------------------------------------- A friend of mine posted on facebook today: I know these questions may seem "loaded". They really aren't. I ask because I don't feel like I know the truth or understand the issue. I am asking because I am getting tired of hearing and reading things from the 'Right' (The Rush Beck O'Reilly crowd) about how "they are Conservative and they love Jesus Christ" and that "the wretched soulless Liberals hate Christ and organized religion." [Their words, not mine.] So, if you feel you understand who he was (or is); would you call Christ a conservative

Day 13: Procrastination

So, this little 42 day challenge I've set for myself is made more difficult by the fact that I'm not consistent. Since Day 8, I believe I've meditated twice. I haven't written. I have watched all of Daredevil, cooked, cleaned, played D&D, and slept. Oh, and I indulged in some Tequila, and we sheared the llamas and sheep (anyone want some raw, dirty, wool?). All I'm supposed to do is meditate and write about rest, and instead what I've been doing is slacking off. I find there to be a difference between slacking off and resting. Rest is what happens when your work is done, and you take a sip of the beverage of your choice, reflect on your efforts, and go 'damn, I'm good.' Slacking off is not getting started. Avoiding. Procrastinating. Lazing around. Being depressed. I've noticed that when I'm depressed, those are my expressions of it. I watch TV, I play video games, I hide under my covers. I avoid, procrastinate, and simply phone it in.

Day 8: Meditating while sick

Today, I am feeling ill. Headache, sinus pressure, and just fatigue. It's hard to meditate while sick, but at least rest is easy. The body knows what it needs, and today it needs rest, fluids, and more rest. You would think that meditation would fall into that rest, but meditation isn't actually restful. It's deliberate, it requires energy and will to pull yourself back from distraction, and put your focus on something. Sometimes you don't have that kind of will when you're sick. I'm going to try and get at least 10 minutes in today.

Day 6: The Hugos

The Hugo Awards are a science fiction award. They are awarded at a smallish convention called 'Worldcon', which moves around. There are generally five nominees for each category, including Best Novel. This year, I decided to read the Best Novel nominees, as part of my attempt to get some more rest. In part, I'm reading because this year, there's a bru-ha-ha over how the nominations were chosen, who they were chosen by, and a number of other things. It's all very interesting to a subset of people, and causing emotions to run high. Reading about the controversy has made me make popcorn on more than one occasion. If you're interested, you can read some of it here , and that should link you to the other players. Do not believe everything you read about the various people, as they are far more complex than either side is portraying them. Personally, I've found the Puppies side to be interesting, while the non-Puppies seem to be reacting as anyone would when a p

Day 4: blogging from Bend

We are in Bend for a rugby game. My post will be short. I have a day 3 post which didn't get finished due to reasons involving the house. The house purchase is going well. I am happy to be in Bend. It is a nice town, and they have a Shopko, which reminds me of the Home Country. More later.

Day 3: Anathema only works if you care about being in the group

A cultural war has been raging in a community which I am not a part of, but follow with a great deal of interest. Science Fiction Fandom. A group of folks who have never participated in the nominations for the Hugo Awards before, have suddenly taken part. And the people who took part before, are understandably upset that their territory has been 'invaded' by people who are not part of their culture (although probably science fiction fans of a sort). The 'fannish culture', lets call it, has been calling for the ostracism of the invaders, and one invader in particular, a fellow with the internet title Vox Day . And he brought up a very good point in dealing with all the invective and approbation which has been leveled at him: He's not part of the group, so shunning him doesn't work. He's been denied access to the standard outlets of publishing and discussion, so he's built his own. Now, I don't subscribe to Mr. Day's opinions, but I do read

Day 2: Trying to Meditate on rest is difficult

This morning, I meditated on rest. Or tried to. I had some issues, because I have a number of things to do, and my meditation revolved around the various tasks I need to accomplish, while trying to think of when I would have time to relax a little. My life has a lot of moving parts: Esoteric work, Secular work, Religious work, family, buying a house, having to move.  We just got our notice from the landlord that our last day is 6/15/2015 in the farm we're in. We're not quite ready to buy the house, we still need to raise money for the down payment.  We're getting closer, but a bit farther away than we feel comfortable. Secular work has a large project working, and so my work environment is in flux and has a lot of excitement and tension. All of this occupies my mind as I try to meditate. But the goal of meditation is not a blank mind. It's to recognize the distractions and pull yourself back towards your meditation. I was able to do that for 10 minutes, time and aga

Day 1: A meditation on rest

חדל : to be slack, to leave off, cease, desist, rest, fail, let alone, abstain; failing, frail; forbearing; destitute, forsaken; resting-place; the grave. Starting today, I am beginning a period of mediation, prayer, and writing on the idea of חדל, which as you can see is a complicated Hebrew word. I chose this word because it's gematric value is 42, and that is my current age.  It also gives me a great time frame with which to work: 42 days.  This meditative cycle will commence today, and end on May 27th. So, for the next 6 weeks, this will be my meditative and writing goal: writing about rest, the importance of it, the benefits of failing, the plight of the forsaken, and the false victory of the grave. During this 6 weeks, I am attempting to raise my down payment for my house, pack my household, get the paperwork done for a house purchase, and keep everyone else from going crazy. I still won't be writing on Sunday, but I'll make sure I do my meditations. Here g

The importance of regular practice

Lent is over. I made the commitment to write every day for Lent. I mostly lived up to it, missed a few days, but tried to make up for it. Now, that commitment is fulfilled. And so... I found I've quit writing. They say 30 days is all it takes to make a new habit, but for some reason, writing never becomes a habit for me. I never 'miss' writing, the way I'd miss some of my other habits, like bathing. The same is true of spiritual habits. I'll make my commitment for a period of time (Lent, Advent, novenas) and then afterwards, I just... slack off. I don't know how to overcome this. It seems to be a recurring issue. I'm just bad at doing many things the same way every day. Believe it or not, I sometimes forget to drink coffee in the morning. Then i get a headache and am tired and wonder "Why am I achy and tired?" So, I'm going to pick a time period, and write some more, and do some spiritual exercises. Maybe I'll start on Tax Day

The importance of the Cloud upon the Sanctuary

Karl von Eckarthausen wrote the Cloud Upon the Sanctuary aroound 1795. Louis Claude de Saint-Martin is said to have been influenced by the worthy Councillor, and that the work had resonances with that of Saint-Martin's own intiation school, that of Martinez de Pasqually. Karl was active in the mystical and occult of France during the time period, and may was regarded as 'an extraordinary personage'. This work, therefore, has some influence on the antecedents of the school of mysticism and occult knowledge of which I am a member. His words echo (or are the source of echoes) the words which we teach in the AJC, in Martinism, and in various other orders of which I'm a member. The language is couched in the Roman Catholic Christianity by which he was surrounded, but the ideas come straight out of Hermeticism, Neo-platonism, Gnosticism, and many other of the mystery schools of the ancient world. Just as those mysteries are couched in the language of the pagan or Christian


Today, I am giving a speech on this event . It's supposed to be a humorous and entertaining speech. I think this qualifies UPDATE: The speech got pushed until later.

Parting the veil

The physical senses form a veil which separates us from the true, absolute, spiritual reality of the world. We are blind and do not see. We do not have ears to hear, and we are denied the thoughts no human as thought before. It is possible to over come this. This natural envelope is a truly corruptible substance found in our blood, forming the fleshly bonds binding our immortal spirits under the servitude of the mortal lesh. This envelope can be rent more or less in every man , and this places him in greater spiritual liberty, and makes him more cognizant of the transcendental world. Every man, says Councillor d'Eckarthausen, meaning every human being, can access that spiritual reality, if they have recourse to the Illuminated Church, the community which has access to the Spirit of Wisdom. However, it's not an instant process: There are three different degrees in the opening of our spiritual sensorium. The first degree reaches to the moral plane only, the transcende

How to increase the senses

Last time, we talked about the necessity about developing and increasing the spiritual senses. The Cloud Upon the Sanctuary tells us why: With, however, the development of the new organ we have a new perception, a sense of new reality. Without it the spiritual world cannot exist for us, because the organ rendering it objective to us is not developed. And Later: The great and true work of building the Temple consists solely in destroying the miserable Adamic hut and in erecting a divine temple; this means, in other words, to develop in us the interior sensorium, or the organ to receive God. After this process, the metaphysical and incorruptible principle rules over the terrestrial, and man begins to live, not any longer in the principle of self-love, but in the Spirit and in the Truth, of which he is the Temple. So, the development of this interior sensorium is of utmost importance. The question becomes, how do we increase those spiritual senses? This community possesses a s

The Cloud upon the Sanctuary

From The Cloud Upon the Sanctuary , by Karl von Eckarthausen: The moral law then evolves into love for one's neighbor in deed and in truth, whereas for the natural man it is but a simple attitude of thought; and the spiritual man, regenerated in spirit, sees all in its essence, of which the natural man has only the forms void of thought, mere empty sounds, symbols and letters, which are all dead images without interior spirit. The lofty aim of religion is the intimate union of man with God; and this union is possible in this world; but it only can be by the opening of our inner sensorium, which enables our hearts to become receptive to God. In an earlier post, I talked about being a slave to words . Councillor d'Eckarthausen also makes the point, that we are divided, our feet in the grave, our heads in the clouds. Again, we see the false dichotomy, but one which is used for instruction. The 'natural [hu]man' is said to hold attitudes, and see the surface, while the

A meditation for Spring Time

The Gospel of Philip reads: Those who sow in winter reap in summer. The winter is the world, the summer the other Aeon (eternal realm). Let us sow in the world that we may reap in the summer. Because of this, it is fitting for us not to pray in the winter. Summer follows winter. But if any man reap in winter he will not actually reap but only pluck out, since it will not provide a harvest for such a person. This, too, is a hard teaching. Very often, especially in the United States, we do things when we will see a return, the Return on Investment. The calculation has permeated the religious world: Where will our efforts produce the most return? The most donations, the most converts, the most successful churches, the bestselling books and dvds. Philip tells us that we should sow, and let us reap when we reach the other realm. Any who try to profit from their efforts in the world, they pluck out, they have no harvest, or they have no fruits. As an agricultural metaphor, it works