Knowledge and Conversation

One cannot achieve the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel by blindly following the procedures outlined in a book. ... While I certainly do not wish to downplay the importance of [The book fo Abremelin or Liber Samekh], I must voice my belief that most successful invocations of the H.G.A. are executed by individuals who have not perfomred either of the above rituals. Indeed, I would go so far as to say most K of C'ers have never heard the word Hermeticism, nor would they consider themselves aspirants, initiates, or magicians. Why is the success rate so high among these "non-professional" mystics? Is the macrocosm prejudiced against those of us who study the spiritual road map before starting the trip? In a way, yes, but not because we are too rational or analytical, but because all too often we aren't romantic enough.

...

It toes not take a scholar to fall desperately in love. To generate the heat necessary to separate the spirituous earth from the dense earth, the primary skill you need to possess is the ability to be agonizingly lovesick for the Angel.

-Lon Milo Duquette, Angels, Demons, & Gods fo the New Millennium

I admit, this is an issue for me. I've been hurt before, and so being agonizingly lovesick is difficult for me. It's hard to trust, hard to let go completely. I've done it with women in the past, and once with an idea (that of marriage) as well as the woman I entered into that idea with.

So, to turn my emotions and to yearn physically, emotionally, and spiritually for my Angel's touch seems a task in and of itself.

But it is my will, and so I turn towards my HGA with the longing of Jews for Messiah, Christians for the Second Coming. Yet, this is the wrong sort of yearning, for that is a yearning that does not expect to be fulfilled. I ache, I pine, I desire my HGA, with the knowledge that she will come.

(Yes, I know the HGA is genderless. Therefore, it's possible to assign a gender for ease of use.)

Thou art all fair, my love;
there is no spot in thee.

Come with me from Lebanon, my spouse,
with me from Lebanon: look from the top of Amana,
from the top of Shenir and Hermon,
from the lions' dens, from the mountains of the leopards.

Thou hast ravished my heart,
my sister, my spouse;
thou hast ravished my heart with one of thine eyes,
with one chain of thy neck.

How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse!
how much better is thy love than wine!
and the smell of thine ointments than all spices!

Thy lips, O my spouse, drop as the honeycomb:
honey and milk are under thy tongue;
and the smell of thy garments is like the smell of Lebanon.

A garden inclosed is my sister, my spouse;
a spring shut up, a fountain sealed.
Thy plants are an orchard of pomegranates,
with pleasant fruits; camphire, with spikenard,

Spikenard and saffron; calamus and cinnamon,
with all trees of frankincense;
myrrh and aloes, with all the chief spices:

A fountain of gardens,
a well of living waters,
and streams from Lebanon.