The Eighth Sermon to the Dead

Ben Stein is what I think of as a true conservaative: Admit mistakes, look for solutions, be humble, be practical. I hope Mr. Bush takes his advice.

Ok, I'm feeling better now. I've had a great weekend of blowing off steam, and that has helped just a ton. Lots of fun things happened: My roommate got arrested (for carrying glass bottles across State Street, of all things. He wasn't even causing trouble), I went to a costume party that was about 25% populated by people in Guy Fawkes "V for Vendetta" costumes, We had 10 strangers stay in our house (all friends of my roommate), and lots of alcohol was had. It was fun. It reminds me of why we moved back to Madison in the first place. Now that all of that has been expelled, I think it's time to get moving on. My wife bought me a guitar, which I've wanted for 15 years and am now going to start trying to learn, which should be fun as it's a different mental muscle. I've just come into some money, so I'm going to bay some overhanging bills and get a new toy (I'm thinking Zen Vision:M from Creative Labs). I've got a little cash to buy...

Have you ever bored yourself? I have all this stuff going on (Formation, work, home life), but I feel bored and boring. I'm also bored by the stuff that used to interest me (technology, theology, gnostic posturing, etc.). I'm a little worried that clinical depression may be setting in. Perhaps it's just the fall, coming to roost. Maybe it's Halloween, one of those holiday's I'm supposed to like, and just don't. I have a hard enough time trying to be me, without having to show how creative I am by being someone else. My Birthday is soon, and I'm going to get a guitar saturday as a b-day present. I used to play piano, but I've always wanted to play guitar. Perhaps that will perk me up. Or beer. Maybe that'll work.

...This relates to work. who the hell is going to save me? he thought. as the knife stopped spinning the answer came: you're going to have to save yourself. still smiling, a: he lit a cigarette b: he poured another drink c: gave the blade another spin. --from The Last Night of the Earth Poems , Charles Bukowski Never read Bukowski before. Might have to give him a look-see.

In case you haven't guessed, I've been having a few problems of a personal nature. When that happens, I tend to post song lyrics. Not exactly sure why, but that's how it goes. Hopefully, gnosticky goodness will resume shortly. I love you, I love you, I love you, I do I only make jokes to distract myself From the truth, from the truth. -Zero 7, Distractions

Call me 'evil' call me 'tide is on your side' Anything that you want Anybody knows you can conjure anything By the dark of the moon Boy and if you keep your silence Silencer on you'll Talk yourself right into a job Out of a hole Into my bayou I'm sure that you've been briefed My absorption lines They are frayed And I fear My fear is greater than my faith But I walk The missionary way You always felt like suede There are days I am your twin Peekaboo Hiding underneath your skin... -Tori Amos, Suede

The world weighs on my shoulders But what am I to do? You sometimes drive me crazy But I worry about you I know it makes no difference To what you're going through But I see the tip of the iceberg And I worry about you -Rush, Distant Early Warning

Which Historical Lunatic Are You? From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey. It fits. I've always been fascinated by Norton I, and wonder how I could be his successor without going to a looney bin.

I don't think you love me Confusion settling in I don't think I'll be staying Around here, anymore There's no question that I love you But I'm living in my own time And here I am debating Whether I'm wrong, or right Who am I To make a judgement of Your life I'm only Passing by Passing by All the promises I gave you Helped me to survive And all the times I wished you'd save me You were the love of my life Who am I To make a judgement of Your life I'm only Passing by Passing by -Zero 7

Organizations, relationships, physical objects-all the things that you build may be destroyed during your lifetime. You could lose them overnight. If they survive your own passing, they may not survive for long, because the world will continue to change. Buildings will be torn down, new inventions will replace the old, new ideas will be adopted, new organizations will arise, new relationships will be formed. But it is worth building anyway. It is worth it because the act of buidling brings joy and satisfaction. And even when the things you build are destroyed, that doesn't change what you have accomplished. What you accomplished was real. You will always be able to look back on it with pride and pleasure. What you accomplished can be a source of meaning forever. -Kent M. Keith, Do It Anyway