I have long maintained that Email or chat is the very worst way to resolve a conflict. You get all the detriments of instant, face to face communication (can't take anything back, don't have time to think about your points) with all the detriments of the written word (can't see the person's inflection, your statements persist).
Now, I have some independent confirmation. I am still trying to find the actual Harvard Study, but it's nice to have more anecdotal evidence.
As well as some tragic real life experience.
My findings: Resolve your distances either in person, or at least by phone. Get out from behind the 1's and 0's, and remember it's not a machine you are in conflict with, but another human being.
Also, learn some of the techniques and tools the professionals use.